This seems like an odd question, but I’ve been very close to my grandparents for a long time. The “constant” in my life. After 60 years of smoking cigarettes, I fear they’re on their last legs. My grandfather, who played the role of father for me, can still walk and talk fine but he’s weak and has had a stroke recently. I love them dearly and I’m not looking for sympathy, but I’ve never expierenced death and knowing it’s knocking on my loved one’s doors have left me in a tousle on what to do and how to deal with it. Should I try and cut the bond that makes me feel this way? It seems wrong but what if sticking with that relationship causes me more pain?
Chosen Answer:
This kind of question is hard to answer because mourning affects everyone differently. I went through a very similar situation like this a few years ago. My grandpa who I was also very close to died of a stroke, it was hard to deal with , yes but everyone in my family took it differently. My grandma, became sort of shut- in and quiet, something that she was the opposite of before his death. We later found out she was developing alzheimer’s, but that’s a different story I suppose. I guess his death shouldn’t have been a shocker to me, I had seen him struggle for that past year and knew it was his time, but it was hard. It was the first time I ever saw my daddy cry.
The last thing you should do is cut them out of your life prematurely, as much as you find it hard to bear, they’re going to want and need their grandson there for them during their last moments on earth. You have no idea how much an i love you, or a hug means to them, they’ve watched you grow, and they love you. You never know you might learn something from them. I remember my grandpas last words to me, slurred from the stroke were ” I’ll be up there if you need me,love” I guess his humour and acceptance of his passing made it a little bit easier for me.
Just hang in there, and through all that’s happening stay close to the ones who love you, sometimes its easier to grieve openly rather than bottling it up. Oh, and don’t be afraid to cry, you have no idea how much it heals <3
I hoped I helped you out,